Don't Lose Yourself in Love and Marriage

Don't Lose Yourself in Love and Marriage

Love is beautiful, and marriage is one of the most important parts of life. Everyone hopes to find someone they truly love, someone who loves them in return, and build a happy and fulfilling family together. However, I believe that no matter how sweet love may be or how happy a marriage seems, a person should never completely lose themselves in a relationship. Loving someone should never mean giving up independent thinking, financial management skills, or control over one's family's financial affairs.

Love requires trust, but trust does not mean blind faith. Marriage requires commitment, but commitment does not mean losing yourself.

The experiences of several well-known figures in the entertainment industry offer some valuable lessons for us to consider.

1. Kenny Bee: The Ability to Make Money Does Not Guarantee Financial Management Skills

Kenny Bee (钟镇涛) was once a very popular singer and actor in Hong Kong and a member of the famous music group The Wynners. At the height of his career, he had accumulated considerable wealth.

However, after marrying his former wife, Zhang Xiaohui (章小蕙), he encountered serious financial difficulties involving family finances and real estate investments.

According to accounts he shared in past media interviews, he did not have sufficient knowledge of financial management at the time. He trusted his wife deeply and left the handling of their finances largely to her. Later, the couple invested in real estate, purchasing multiple properties and taking on substantial mortgage debt.

When the Asian financial crisis hit in 1997, Hong Kong's property market experienced a dramatic decline, eventually leaving him burdened with enormous debt.

In 2002, Kenny Bee filed for bankruptcy. Much of the wealth he had accumulated over the years was wiped out, marking a major turning point in his life.

What lessons can we learn from this experience?

Kenny Bee had a strong ability to earn money and had built a successful career. However, he was not sufficiently involved in managing the family's finances and did not fully understand the investment risks and debt obligations.

I am not trying to judge the relationship between him and his former wife. Rather, I want to emphasize an important principle: No matter how strong the relationship between husband and wife may be, both partners should understand their family's financial situation. Trusting your spouse should not mean completely ignoring where the money goes, what investments are being made, or how much debt the family has accumulated.

A husband and wife may divide financial responsibilities, but both should understand how much the family owns, how much it owes, and the risks associated with every major investment.

2. Wang Baoqiang: Marriage Involves More Than Love; It Also Involves Property and Legal Responsibilities

Wang Baoqiang is a well-known Chinese actor. Coming from an ordinary family, he worked hard to build his career and eventually became a successful actor, accumulating considerable wealth along the way.

In 2016, his marital problems with his wife, Ma Rong, became public and attracted widespread attention. The couple subsequently entered divorce proceedings involving child custody, real estate, company ownership, bank deposits, and other marital assets.

In 2018, the court granted their divorce and, based on the evidence, determined that Ma Rong had engaged in an extramarital relationship. The division of marital property was addressed through subsequent legal proceedings.

This case reminds us that marriage is not simply a matter of emotions between two people. It also involves complicated family assets, financial interests, and legal responsibilities.

A person may be very successful at earning money, but if they have little understanding of family assets, company shares, bank accounts, and other important property, they may face significant difficulties when a marriage breaks down.

I believe that both men and women should maintain a certain degree of financial independence during marriage, understand important family financial information, and keep proper records of relevant documents.

This is not about distrusting one's spouse. It is about taking responsibility for oneself, one's family, and one's children.

3. Zhao Qing: Never Let Love Override Your Rational Judgment

The experiences of Taiwanese actor Zhao Qing (赵擎) have also attracted media attention.

According to media reports in 2009 and 2016, Zhao Qing stated that he had suffered substantial financial losses during a previous marriage, including the loss of real estate and years of personal savings. Reports indicated that he experienced serious financial difficulties and eventually had to relocate to Beijing to rebuild his career.

Of course, what the public knows about his situation comes primarily from media reports. There is no need for us to make excessive judgments about the private details of his marriage.

Nevertheless, his experience offers another important lesson.

When people fall in love or get married, they may trust their partners unconditionally because of their feelings. Some may even hand over all their assets and financial affairs to their partners.

Without sufficient knowledge, oversight, and awareness of financial risks, a change in the relationship could seriously affect the wealth accumulated through years of hard work.

Love should never cause someone to lose basic judgment. No matter how deeply you love another person, you should always maintain your ability to think independently.

4. It Is Not Enough to Know How to Make Money; You Must Also Know How to Manage It

Many years ago, one of my neighbors told me something that has stayed with me ever since.

He was running a very small company at the time, and he told me:

"You don't necessarily need to understand all the technical aspects of the business, but you absolutely must know how to manage the company's money. You must know exactly how much money the company has, how much it earns and spends each month, how the business is performing, whether it is making a profit or suffering a loss, and how much debt it owes. You must have a clear understanding of all these things."

I thought this was excellent advice.

Even if a business owner or manager does not understand every technical aspect of the company, they cannot afford to be ignorant of its financial condition. The survival and growth of a business ultimately depend on sound financial management.

I believe the same principle applies to a family.

A family is essentially a small economic unit. A husband and wife may have different responsibilities. One may focus on earning money while the other manages household affairs. However, both should understand the family's overall financial situation.

For example:

1. How much cash, savings, and investment money does the family currently have?

2. How much real estate, stocks, and other assets does the family own?

3. How much income does the family earn and how much does it spend each month?

4. How much remains on the mortgage, car loans, and other debts?

5. How much risk is involved in the family's investments?

6. If one spouse loses a job or experiences an unexpected emergency, can the family maintain its normal lifestyle?

Both spouses should have a basic understanding of these matters.

I have always believed that a person needs not only the ability to earn money but also the ability to manage wealth.

Making money is important. However, if someone earns a great deal but does not know where the money is, has no idea how much the family owns or owes, or cannot even tell whether their investments are making or losing money, then the value of all that hard work is greatly diminished.

5. Love Can Be Romantic, but You Must Maintain Your Independence in Life

I am not suggesting that married couples should be overly concerned with every little financial detail, nor am I saying that spouses should not trust each other.

On the contrary, I believe a good marriage should be built on trust, respect, understanding, and shared responsibility.

However, trust does not mean that you should remain uninformed about everything. Loving someone does not mean giving up your career, financial capabilities, or independent identity.

Both men and women should strive to maintain the following five things:

First, maintain your ability to earn money.

Do not assume that once you get married, you can rely entirely on your spouse for all future financial needs. Whenever possible, maintain your professional skills and your own source of income. This is not only a form of financial security but also an expression of personal value and independence.

Second, maintain your financial management skills.

Do not hand over all financial responsibilities to your spouse while remaining completely unaware of what is happening. Couples can divide responsibilities, but both should understand the family's income, expenses, assets, and liabilities.

Third, discuss major investments together.

Major financial decisions, such as purchasing real estate, investing in stocks, starting a business, borrowing money, or guaranteeing someone else's loan, should always be discussed thoroughly by both spouses.

Do not sign documents you do not understand simply because you have a good relationship with your spouse. Never take on enormous financial obligations without understanding the risks involved.

Fourth, preserve your ability to think independently.

Do not assume that your partner is always right simply because you love them. A mature relationship should allow both people to have different opinions and discuss important matters rationally.

Fifth, never give up personal growth because of marriage.

No matter how many years you have been married, continue learning, working, and developing your interests and abilities. A person with independent thinking, professional ambitions, and financial capabilities is often more likely to earn their partner's respect.

Conclusion: Love Someone, but Remember to Protect Yourself

Life is long, and love is an important part of life, but it is not everything.

We all hope that love will last, that marriage will be happy, and that couples will grow old together. However, life is full of uncertainties. The love you experience when you are young may not necessarily last a lifetime, and today's happiness does not guarantee that nothing will ever change in the future.

Therefore, I would like to share a few thoughts with everyone:

Never give up your career because of love. Never give up understanding your family's finances because of trust. And never lose your ability to think independently because of marriage.

A mature person should know how to love others while also loving themselves. They should have the ability to earn money as well as the ability to manage wealth. They should cherish their marriage while maintaining their own independent identity.

A truly healthy relationship is not one in which one person becomes completely dependent on the other. It is a partnership between two independent individuals who respect each other, support each other, and grow together.

You can give everything to someone you love, but never lose yourself. You can trust someone wholeheartedly and give them all your affection, but never abandon your reason and judgment.

That, in my opinion, is the wisdom we should maintain in love and marriage.

Gang Chen, Publisher/Bestselling Author (GreenExamEducation.com)

Architect, LEED AP BD+C, Real Estate Broker (BRE# 01232392)

 

不要在爱情和婚姻中迷失自我

爱情是美好的，婚姻是人生中非常重要的一部分。每个人都希望找到一个自己深爱、也深爱自己的人，建立一个幸福美满的家庭。但是，我认为，无论爱情多么甜蜜，婚姻多么幸福，一个人都不应该因为爱情而完全迷失自我，更不能因为爱一个人，就放弃自己的独立思考、经济管理能力和对家庭财务的掌控。

爱情需要信任，但信任不等于盲目；婚姻需要付出，但付出不等于放弃自我。

娱乐圈有几位公众人物的经历，值得我们思考。

一、钟镇涛：有赚钱能力，却缺乏财务管理意识

钟镇涛曾经是香港娱乐圈非常红的歌手和演员，也是温拿乐队的成员。在事业最辉煌的时候，他拥有相当可观的财富。

但是，他与前妻章小蕙结婚以后，家庭财务和房地产投资出现了严重问题。

根据他过去接受媒体采访时的讲述，他当时对理财缺乏足够的认识，对家人非常信任，把财务管理交给妻子处理。后来，两人投资房地产，购买了多处房产，并承担了大量贷款。1997年亚洲金融危机爆发，香港房地产市场大幅下跌，最终使他背负巨额债务。

2002年，钟镇涛申请破产，曾经拥有的财富几乎化为乌有，人生经历了巨大的转折。

这件事情给我们的启示是什么？

钟镇涛有很强的赚钱能力，也有很好的事业基础，但是他没有充分参与家庭财务管理，对投资风险和债务缺乏足够的了解。

我并不是要评价他和前妻之间的感情是非，而是想强调一个道理：即使夫妻之间感情再好，也应该了解家庭的财务状况。不能因为信任对方，就完全不管钱去了哪里、投资了什么、欠了多少债。

夫妻可以分工管理家庭财务，但双方都应该清楚家庭拥有多少资产、承担多少负债，以及每一项重大投资的风险。

二、王宝强：婚姻不仅是感情，也涉及财产和法律责任

王宝强是大家非常熟悉的演员。他从一个普通家庭出身，通过自己的努力，一步一步成为知名演员，积累了相当可观的财富。

2016年，他与妻子马蓉的婚姻问题公开，引起了社会广泛关注。双方随后进入离婚诉讼程序，涉及子女抚养、房产、公司股权、存款以及其他夫妻共同财产等问题。

2018年，法院判决解除双方婚姻关系，并根据相关证据认定马蓉存在婚外不正当关系。财产分割问题则经过后续程序处理。

这件事情让我们看到，婚姻不仅仅是两个人的感情问题，还涉及复杂的家庭资产、经济利益和法律责任。

一个人可能非常有赚钱能力，但是如果对家庭资产、公司股权、银行账户和重要财产缺乏了解，在婚姻发生变故时，就可能面临很多困难。

我认为，无论男女，在婚姻中都应该保持一定的经济独立性，了解家庭的重要财务信息，妥善保存相关资料。

这并不是不信任自己的配偶，而是对自己、对家庭和对子女负责。

三、赵擎：不要因为爱情而失去理性判断

台湾演员赵擎的经历也曾经引起媒体关注。

根据2009年和2016年的媒体报道，赵擎曾表示，自己在上一段婚姻中遭遇严重的财产损失，包括名下房产和多年积蓄。据报道，他因此一度陷入经济困境，后来不得不前往北京重新发展事业。

当然，公众看到的主要是媒体报道，我们不必对当事人的私人婚姻作过多评价。

但这段经历同样值得我们思考：

一个人在恋爱或者婚姻中，可能因为感情而对另一半毫无保留地信任，甚至把自己的全部财产和经济事务交给对方处理。

如果缺乏必要的了解、监督和风险意识，一旦感情发生变化，自己多年努力积累的财富就可能受到严重影响。

爱情不应该让一个人失去基本的判断能力。即使非常爱一个人，也应该保留独立思考的能力。

四、一个人不仅要会赚钱，还必须懂得管钱

好多年前，我的一位邻居曾经跟我讲过一段话，让我至今印象深刻。

他当时自己经营着一家很小的公司，他对我说：

你不一定需要非常懂公司的专业技术知识，但是你一定要懂得管理公司的钱。你必须清楚公司现在有多少钱，每个月收入多少、支出多少，经营状况怎么样，是盈利还是亏损，欠了多少债。这些事情，你心里一定要一清二楚。

我觉得这段话非常有道理。

一个公司的老板或者管理人员，即使不懂每一项具体的技术，也不能不知道公司的财务状况。因为公司的生存和发展，最终离不开财务管理。

我认为，家庭其实也是一样的。

一个家庭就是一个小型经济单位。夫妻双方可能有不同的分工，一个人负责赚钱，另一个人负责管理家庭事务，但是双方都应该了解家庭的基本财务状况。

例如：

1. 家庭目前有多少现金、存款和投资？

2. 有多少房地产、股票和其他资产？

3. 每个月有多少收入和支出？

4. 房贷、车贷以及其他负债还有多少？

5. 家庭投资的风险有多大？

6. 如果其中一个人失去工作或者发生意外，家庭能否维持正常生活？

这些问题，夫妻双方都应该有基本的了解。

我一直认为，一个人不仅要有赚钱的能力，还必须有管理财富的能力。

赚钱很重要，但是如果赚了很多钱，却不知道钱在哪里，不知道家庭有多少资产和负债，甚至不知道自己的投资究竟是盈利还是亏损，那么赚钱的意义也会大打折扣。

五、爱情可以浪漫，但人生必须保持独立

我并不是主张夫妻之间凡事斤斤计较，更不是说夫妻之间不应该相互信任。

恰恰相反，我认为一段好的婚姻，应该建立在信任、尊重、理解和共同承担责任的基础上。

但是，信任不代表什么事情都不需要了解，爱一个人也不代表必须放弃自己的事业、经济能力和独立人格。

无论男人还是女人，都应该努力保持以下几个方面：

第一，保持自己的赚钱能力。

不要因为结婚了，就认为今后所有经济问题都可以依靠配偶。尽可能保持自己的职业能力和经济来源，这不仅是经济保障，也是个人价值和独立性的体现。

第二，保持自己的理财能力。

不要把所有财务事务完全交给另一半，自己却什么都不知道。夫妻可以分工，但双方都应该了解家庭的收入、支出、资产和负债。

第三，重大投资必须共同商量。

购买房产、投资股票、创业、借贷以及担保等重大经济决定，都应该经过双方充分沟通。不要因为感情好，就轻易签署自己不理解的文件，更不要在不了解风险的情况下承担巨额债务。

第四，保留自己的独立思考能力。

不要因为爱一个人，就认为对方永远正确。真正成熟的爱情，应该允许双方有不同意见，也应该能够理性讨论问题。

第五，不要因为婚姻而放弃自我成长。

无论结婚多少年，都应该继续学习、工作、发展自己的兴趣和能力。一个有独立思想、有事业追求、有经济能力的人，往往也更容易获得伴侣的尊重。

结语：爱一个人，也要懂得保护自己

人生很长，爱情只是人生的重要组成部分，而不是人生的全部。

我们希望爱情能够长久，希望婚姻能够幸福，也希望夫妻能够白头偕老。但是，人生有很多不确定性。年轻时的爱情，不一定能够维持一辈子；今天的幸福，也不代表未来永远不会发生变化。

因此，我想送给大家几句话：

不要因为爱情而放弃自己的事业，不要因为信任而放弃对家庭财务的了解，不要因为婚姻而失去独立思考的能力。

一个成熟的人，既应该懂得爱别人，也应该懂得爱自己；既应该有赚钱的能力，也应该有管理财富的能力；既应该珍惜婚姻，也应该保持独立的人格。

真正健康的爱情，不是一个人完全依附另一个人，而是两个独立的人相互尊重、相互支持、共同成长。

爱一个人，可以倾其所有，但不要失去自我；信任一个人，可以毫无保留地付出感情，但不要放弃理性和判断。

这才是我认为爱情和婚姻中应该保持的智慧。

陈钢（Gang Chen）
出版社创办人、畅销书作家（http://GreenExamEducation.com）
建筑师（Architect）、LEED AP BD+C
加州房地产经纪人（BRE# 01232392）

网址：http://GreenExamEducation.com

SCUT Alumni in Southern California Celebrate the 102nd Anniversary of Sun Yat-sen University

 

The Historical Ties Between South China University of Technology and Sun Yat-sen University: From Sun Yat-sen University's School of Engineering to South China University of Technology

Many people may have heard that South China University of Technology (SCUT) was formed by separating the School of Engineering from Sun Yat-sen University. This statement has some historical basis, but strictly speaking, it is not entirely accurate.

In fact, South China University of Technology and Sun Yat-sen University share a deep historical connection. SCUT's predecessor, South China Institute of Technology, was established in 1952 during China's nationwide restructuring of higher education institutions. It was formed by consolidating engineering schools and departments from several universities, with the School of Engineering of Sun Yat-sen University being one of its most important founding components.

1. The School of Engineering at Sun Yat-sen University: An Important Foundation of SCUT

Sun Yat-sen University traces its origins to National Guangdong University, founded by Dr. Sun Yat-sen in 1924. The institution was later renamed National Sun Yat-sen University and gradually developed into a comprehensive university.

As the university expanded, it established a School of Engineering, offering disciplines such as civil engineering, mechanical engineering, and electrical engineering. It trained a large number of engineering professionals for South China.

In 1934, the School of Engineering of National Sun Yat-sen University moved to the Shipai Campus in Guangzhou. The site of today's Wushan Campus of South China University of Technology was an important part of the former Shipai Campus of National Sun Yat-sen University.

Therefore, South China University of Technology inherited not only some of the academic disciplines and faculty of Sun Yat-sen University's School of Engineering, but also the historical and cultural legacy of this campus.

2. The Nationwide Restructuring of Higher Education in 1952 and the Establishment of South China Institute of Technology

In 1952, China undertook a major nationwide restructuring of its higher education system.

At that time, in order to concentrate resources on industrial development and engineering education, the government decided to consolidate engineering programs from several universities in Guangdong and neighboring regions to establish an engineering-focused institution in Guangzhou.

South China Institute of Technology was established against this historical background.

Its main founding components included:

1. The School of Engineering of National Sun Yat-sen University;

2. The College of Science and Engineering of South China United University;

3. Engineering departments and programs from the College of Science and Engineering of Lingnan University;

4. Guangdong Industrial College.

In addition, engineering departments and programs from other institutions, including Hunan University, Wuchang Zhonghua University, Wuhan Jiaotong College, Nanchang University, and Guangxi University, were subsequently incorporated.

On November 17, 1952, South China Institute of Technology held its first opening ceremony.

It is particularly worth noting that the institute was established on the former Shipai Campus of National Sun Yat-sen University. In other words, the campus that had once housed Sun Yat-sen University's School of Engineering later became an important base for South China Institute of Technology.

3. From South China Institute of Technology to South China University of Technology

After its establishment, South China Institute of Technology gradually developed into one of the most important engineering universities in South China.

In 1960, it was designated as a National Key University.

In January 1988, South China Institute of Technology was officially renamed South China University of Technology.

The university continued to grow and became one of China's leading universities specializing in science and engineering. In 1995, it was selected for China's national 211 Project, and in 2001, it became part of the 985 Project. In 2017, it was selected as a Double First-Class university under China's national higher education development initiative.

4. Sun Yat-sen University and South China University of Technology: Shared Historical Roots, Independent Development

Historically, Sun Yat-sen University and South China University of Technology have had a very special relationship.

Sun Yat-sen University is a long-established comprehensive university in South China, while South China University of Technology was established in 1952 through the consolidation of engineering schools and departments from several institutions, including the School of Engineering of Sun Yat-sen University.

Therefore, it is absolutely correct to say that South China University of Technology has a direct historical connection to Sun Yat-sen University's School of Engineering.

However, saying that SCUT was formed entirely by separating the School of Engineering from Sun Yat-sen University would be historically inaccurate. In reality, it was the result of integrating engineering education resources from multiple universities.

Today, the two universities have developed independently into distinguished institutions of higher education, while maintaining their deep historical ties.

5. Alumni Friendship That Transcends a Century

Today, on the occasion of the 102nd anniversary celebration of Sun Yat-sen University, 20 alumni from the South China University of Technology Alumni Association in Southern California were also invited to participate in the celebration.

Although South China University of Technology and Sun Yat-sen University have developed independently into two distinguished universities, they share a deep historical connection. South China Institute of Technology, the predecessor of SCUT, was established in 1952 through China's nationwide restructuring of higher education, with the School of Engineering of Sun Yat-sen University and engineering departments from several other universities serving as its founding components.

Therefore, participating in Sun Yat-sen University's anniversary celebration holds a special meaning for us as SCUT alumni. It is not only an opportunity to congratulate Sun Yat-sen University on its remarkable history, but also a way to honor the shared history and educational heritage of our two universities.

Although we graduated from different universities, we share common historical memories and a deep affection for our alma maters. Even though we now live overseas, the bonds of alumni friendship remain strong. That is what made today's celebration particularly meaningful.

Conclusion

As someone who completed both undergraduate and graduate studies in the Department of Architecture at South China University of Technology, I find this part of the university's history particularly interesting.

Especially when walking around SCUT's Wushan Campus, one realizes that it is not just the campus of a modern university, but also a place that preserves the historical memories of the former National Sun Yat-sen University.

From Dr. Sun Yat-sen's founding of National Guangdong University, to the establishment of the School of Engineering at National Sun Yat-sen University's Shipai Campus, to the founding of South China Institute of Technology in 1952, and finally to today's South China University of Technology, this history reflects the development and continuity of China's higher education system.

Today, seeing alumni from both universities come together in Southern California to celebrate the 102nd anniversary of Sun Yat-sen University makes us feel even more strongly the deep historical connection between the two institutions and the enduring bonds of friendship among their alumni across time and distance.

In conclusion, although Sun Yat-sen University and South China University of Technology are now two independent universities, they share deep historical roots and an important educational legacy. This shared heritage lives on not only in their campuses, but also in the hearts of generations of alumni.

Gang Chen, Publisher/Bestselling Author (GreenExamEducation.com)

Architect, LEED AP BD+C, Real Estate Broker (BRE# 01232392)

南加州华南工校友参加中山大学102年校庆

华南理工大学与中山大学的历史渊源：从中山大学工学院到华南理工大学

很多人可能听说过，华南理工大学是从中山大学工学院分出来的。这种说法有一定的历史依据，但如果严格按照历史来讲，并不完全准确。

实际上，华南理工大学与中山大学有着非常深厚的历史渊源。华南理工大学的前身华南工学院，是1952年全国高等学校院系调整时，由多所高校的工科院系合并组建而成的，其中，中山大学工学院是最重要的组成部分之一。

一、中山大学工学院是华南理工大学的重要源头

中山大学由孙中山先生于1924年创办的国立广东大学发展而来。后来学校更名为国立中山大学，并逐渐发展成为一所综合性大学。

在发展过程中，中山大学建立了工学院，设有土木工程、机械、电机等工程相关学科，为华南地区培养了大量工程技术人才。

1934年，国立中山大学工学院迁入广州石牌校区。今天华南理工大学五山校区所在的位置，就是当年国立中山大学石牌校区的重要组成部分。

因此，华南理工大学不仅继承了中山大学工学院的部分学科和师资，也继承了这片校园的历史文脉。

二、1952年全国院系调整，华南工学院正式成立

1952年，中国进行了大规模的全国高等学校院系调整。

当时，为了集中力量发展工业和工程技术教育，国家决定整合广东及周边地区多所大学的工科教育资源，在广州组建一所以工科为主的高等院校。

华南工学院就是在这一历史背景下成立的。

其主要组建基础包括：

1. 国立中山大学工学院；

2. 华南联合大学理工学院；

3. 岭南大学理工学院的工科系及专业；

4. 广东工业专科学校。

此外，还陆续调入湖南大学、武昌中华大学、武汉交通学院、南昌大学、广西大学等学校的部分工科系和专业。

1952年11月17日，华南工学院举行首届开学典礼。

值得一提的是，当时华南工学院就设在原国立中山大学石牌校区。也就是说，原来中山大学工学院所在的校园，后来成为了华南工学院的重要办学基地。

三、从华南工学院到华南理工大学

华南工学院成立以后，逐渐发展成为中国华南地区重要的工科大学。

1960年，学校被列为全国重点大学。

1988年1月，华南工学院正式更名为华南理工大学。

此后，学校不断发展壮大，成为中国著名的理工科大学之一，并于1995年进入国家“211工程”重点建设大学行列，2001年进入“985工程”重点建设大学行列，2017年入选国家“双一流”建设高校。

四、中山大学与华南理工大学：同根同源，各自发展

从历史上看，中山大学和华南理工大学有着非常特殊的关系。

中山大学是华南地区历史悠久的综合性大学，而华南理工大学则是在1952年全国院系调整过程中，以中山大学工学院等多所学校的工科院系为基础组建起来的。

因此，说华南理工大学与中山大学工学院有直接的历史渊源，是完全正确的。

但如果说华南理工大学完全是从中山大学工学院独立出来的，则不够准确。它实际上是多所高校工科教育资源整合的结果。

今天，两所大学已经成为各自独立发展的著名高校，但它们之间仍然保留着深厚的历史联系。

五、跨越百年的校友情谊

今天，在中山大学建校102周年庆祝活动中，我们华南理工大学南加州的20位校友也应邀参加了庆祝活动。

虽然华南理工大学和中山大学今天已经是两所独立发展的著名高校，但两校有着深厚的历史渊源。华南理工大学的前身华南工学院，正是在1952年全国高校院系调整中，以中山大学工学院等多所高校的工科院系为基础组建起来的。

因此，参加中山大学的周年庆，对我们华南理工大学的校友来说，也有一种特殊的亲切感。这不仅是对中山大学百年历史的祝贺，也是对两校共同历史和文化传承的一种纪念。

虽然毕业于不同的大学，但我们有着共同的历史记忆和对母校的深厚感情。身在海外，校友情谊依然浓厚，这也是今天活动特别有意义的地方。

结语

作为曾经在华南理工大学建筑系读过本科和研究生的人，了解这段历史还是很有意思的。

特别是当我们走进华南理工大学五山校区时，会发现这里不仅是一所现代化大学的校园，也承载着国立中山大学当年的历史记忆。

从孙中山先生创办国立广东大学，到后来国立中山大学工学院在石牌办学，再到1952年华南工学院成立，最后发展成为今天的华南理工大学，这段历史体现了中国高等教育的发展与传承。

今天，身在南加州的两校校友能够相聚，共同庆祝中山大学建校102周年，更让我们感受到两校之间深厚的历史联系和跨越时空的校友情谊。

可以说，中山大学与华南理工大学虽然今天是两所独立发展的大学，但在历史上确实有着一脉相承的深厚渊源。两校的历史传承不仅留在校园里，也延续在一代又一代校友的心中。

陈钢（Gang Chen）
出版社创办人、畅销书作家（http://GreenExamEducation.com）
建筑师（Architect）、LEED AP BD+C
加州房地产经纪人（BRE# 01232392）

网址：http://GreenExamEducation.com

Three Encounters with Pickpockets — How My Father's Advice Once Saved Me from a Big Predicament

 

Three Encounters with Pickpockets — How My Father's Advice Once Saved Me from a Big Predicament

Sometimes, things that seem insignificant at the time, or even make us think our parents are being overly cautious, turn out to be incredibly valuable lessons when we look back years later.

When I was younger, I encountered pickpockets three times while traveling or commuting. During the first incident, my money was stolen, but thanks to my father's advice before I left home, I still managed to make it back safely. The other two incidents were close calls when I narrowly avoided being robbed again.

The First Encounter: My Father's Advice Really Saved Me

At the time, I was a graduate student in the Department of Architecture at South China University of Technology. I was preparing to travel to Xinjiang and Tibet for academic research.

Before I left, my father asked me a question:

"How are you going to carry your money?"

I remember thinking to myself, "I'm already a graduate student. Don't you think I know how to carry my own money?"

But my father took the matter very seriously. He carefully explained:

"You should divide your money and put it in several different pockets. Keep some in your outside pockets and some in your inside pockets. That way, if someone steals from you, you will still have some money left."

Although I thought he was being a little overcautious, I followed his advice anyway.

Little did I know that this simple suggestion would later save me from a very difficult situation.

On that trip, I traveled with my classmates to Xi'an and Mount Hua. From there, we flew to Urumqi and then continued to Tibet. Eventually, I separated from my classmates.

One evening, I was traveling alone, carrying several large bags of luggage, and squeezed onto a crowded public bus to return to my hotel.

Not long after I boarded, I noticed something strange.

Two women who appeared to be a mother and daughter were constantly pressing against me. The older woman looked to be in her forties, while the younger one appeared to be around twenty.

They kept squeezing closer and closer to me.

I was puzzled. Why were these two women pushing against me so much? The bus was crowded, of course, but their behavior seemed unusual.

I even jokingly wondered whether I had suddenly become so attractive that they couldn't resist getting close to me!

I had no idea that I was actually being targeted by pickpockets.

After just two stops, the two women got off the bus.

When I eventually got off and checked my pockets, I discovered that all the money I had kept in my outside pockets was gone!

That was when I finally realized what had happened. The two women had been working together to steal my money while distracting me.

Fortunately, I still had some money hidden in my inside pockets, just as my father had advised. More importantly, my train ticket back to Guangzhou had not been stolen.

By then, I had already purchased my ticket for the return trip to Guangzhou, but I had only about ten yuan left in cash.

For the next part of my journey, I had to make every penny count.

I spent nearly two days traveling back to Guangzhou on an old-fashioned green train. I was so short of money that I wouldn't even buy a boxed meal on the train.

Fortunately, I eventually made it home safely.

Looking back, I realize how fortunate I was.

If I hadn't listened to my father and had kept all my money and my train ticket in an outside pocket, the thieves might have taken everything. Without my train ticket, I might not even have had a way to get home.

A simple piece of advice from my father had saved me from a potentially serious predicament.

The Second Encounter: A Pickpocket Reached Directly into My Pocket

The second encounter happened when I was doing an architectural design internship in Nanhai, near Guangzhou.

One day, I was getting off a train at a very crowded railway station. People were packed tightly together, pushing forward as they made their way off the train. At the same time, passengers waiting to board were squeezing past us from the opposite direction.

It was complete chaos.

Suddenly, a young man passing right beside me caught my attention.

I felt someone touching my front pocket.

When I looked more carefully, I realized that he was actually trying to steal from me!

He used his left hand to block the view of his right hand, then slipped his right hand directly into my front pocket.

Fortunately, I noticed what he was doing just in time.

Luckily, there wasn't anything particularly valuable in that pocket. Otherwise, I might have lost something again.

What impressed me was his technique. He used one hand to conceal the movements of the other, taking advantage of the crowded conditions to steal from unsuspecting passengers.

After my first two experiences, I had certainly become more aware of how pickpockets operated in public places.

The Third Encounter: Years in America Didn't Make Me Immune to Pickpockets

The third close call happened many years later, after I had already moved to the United States and lived there for quite some time.

During one of my trips back to China, I was taking the subway to Tianhe.

At that time, my two children loved putting their hands into my pockets. Whenever they did that, I would jokingly warn them:

"Never put your hands in my pockets! I've become so accustomed to people trying to steal my wallet that one day you might take it out without me even noticing!"

Little did I know that this joke would soon become a real-life experience.

One day, while I was riding the subway, a man carrying a black backpack stood next to me.

He positioned his backpack in front of him to block the view of what his hands were doing. Using the backpack as a cover, he quietly reached toward my pocket and tried to steal something.

This time, however, I noticed him.

I immediately confronted him:

"What are you doing? Why are you reaching into my pocket?"

As soon as he realized I had caught him, he quickly pulled his hand back.

At the next station, he hurried off the train and disappeared.

That was my third encounter with a pickpocket. Fortunately, I didn't lose anything this time, but it was yet another close call.

My Father's Life Experience Was More Valuable Than Any Textbook

Looking back at these three experiences, the most memorable one is still my father's advice before my first trip.

At the time, I thought I was already well educated as a graduate student and should know how to handle these simple matters myself. I even felt that my father was being unnecessarily cautious.

But experience taught me something important: Having a high level of education does not necessarily mean having extensive life experience. Textbooks cannot teach us everything we need to know about dealing with unexpected situations in everyday life.

My father didn't give me any complicated lecture or philosophical lesson. He simply told me to divide my money among different pockets.

It was such a small and practical suggestion, yet it made an enormous difference when I found myself in trouble.

Life is like that. Sometimes, it takes many years before we truly understand the wisdom behind a simple piece of advice from our parents.

After these three experiences, I also want to remind everyone to be careful when traveling, especially on crowded buses, at railway stations, and on subways. Never keep all your cash, identification, and valuables in one place. Avoid putting valuable items in easily accessible pockets, and always stay alert in crowded public spaces.

Most importantly, I want to thank my father.

Some expressions of love are not dramatic or extraordinary. Sometimes, they are simply a few words of advice from a father before his child leaves home.

My father's simple suggestion to divide my money among different pockets is something I have never forgotten.

Gang Chen, Publisher/Bestselling Author (GreenExamEducation.com)

Architect, LEED AP BD+C, Real Estate Broker (BRE# 01232392)

 

三次与小偷擦肩而过——爸爸的一句叮嘱，救了我一场急

人生中有些事情，当时听起来觉得没有什么，甚至觉得长辈有些多虑，但多年以后回过头来才发现，老人家的生活经验真的很有道理。

我年轻的时候，曾经三次在外面遇到小偷。第一次，我的钱包被偷了，但因为提前听从了爸爸的建议，最后竟然顺利回到了家。第二次和第三次，则是两次与小偷擦肩而过，差一点再次遭殃。

第一次：爸爸的叮嘱，真的救了我一场急

那时候，我正在华南理工大学建筑系读研究生，准备去新疆和西藏一带进行调研。

出发之前，爸爸特意问我：「你的钱准备怎么放？」

我心里还觉得有点好笑：我都已经是研究生了，难道连钱怎么放都不知道吗？

没想到爸爸非常认真地告诉我：「最好把钱分开放在几个不同的口袋里，每个口袋放一点，里面的口袋也放一点。这样万一遇到小偷，把外面的钱偷走了，你身上还留有一些钱，不至于连回家的路费都没有。」

虽然我当时有点不以为然，但还是按照爸爸的建议做了。

没想到，这个看似普通的建议，后来真的帮了我一个大忙。

那次旅行，我先和同学一起去了西安、华山，之后从乌鲁木齐飞往西藏。后来，我和同学分开了，有一天晚上，我一个人带着大包小包的行李，挤上了一辆公共汽车，准备回酒店。

上车没多久，我就感觉有点不对劲。

有一对看起来像母女的女人，一个大约四十多岁的妈妈，另一个看起来二十岁左右的年轻女孩子，拼命往我身上挤。

我当时还觉得奇怪：怎么回事？车上虽然人多，也不至于这么挤吧？难道我今天特别有魅力，连两个女人都这么喜欢往我身边靠？

我当然没有意识到，自己已经成了小偷的目标。

过了两站，那两个人就下车了。

等我自己也下车，检查口袋的时候，才发现外面口袋里的钱已经被偷得一干二净！

这时候我才恍然大悟：原来刚才那两个人是在配合着偷我的钱！

还好，我身上还有爸爸提醒我放在里面口袋的钱，而且回广州的火车票也没有被偷走。

当时我已经买好了回广州的火车票，身上剩下的钱也就差不多十块钱。

接下来，我只能靠这十块钱想办法回家。

我坐了差不多两天的绿皮火车，一路上省吃俭用，连火车上的盒饭都舍不得买，最后总算平安回到了广州。

现在回想起来，真是有点后怕。

如果当时我没有听爸爸的话，把所有的钱和火车票都放在外面的口袋里，那么一旦被小偷全部偷走，我可能连回家的火车票都没有了。

爸爸当时的一句叮嘱，竟然在关键时刻帮了我这么大的忙。

第二次：火车站里，小偷直接伸手掏口袋

第二次遇到小偷，是我在广州附近的南海进行设计实习的时候。

有一次坐火车，下车时火车站人特别多，大家挤成一团，一个推着一个往前走。与此同时，准备上车的人又从旁边迎面挤过来，整个场面非常混乱。

就在这个时候，一个年轻小伙子从我旁边经过。

我突然感觉到有人在动我的前面口袋。

仔细一看，那个小伙子竟然用自己的左手挡住右手的动作，然后直接把右手伸进我的前面口袋里！

幸亏我及时发现。

还好，当时那个口袋里面也没有什么值钱的东西，否则恐怕又要损失一笔钱了。

这个小伙子的动作倒是让我印象深刻：原来小偷还可以这样操作，用一只手掩护另一只手，趁着人群拥挤的时候下手。

经过这两次经历，我对公共场所的小偷算是有了更多的警惕。

第三次：在美国生活多年，回中国还是差点被偷

第三次差点被偷，是我后来已经来到美国生活多年之后。

有一次回中国，我坐地铁回天河。

那时候，我的两个孩子很喜欢把手放在我的口袋里。每次他们这样做，我都会开玩笑地提醒他们：

「千万不要随便把手放在我的口袋里！要不然我已经习惯了别人偷我的钱包，哪天你们把我的钱包拿走了，我可能都不知道！」

没想到，这个玩笑竟然很快就有了现实版的情节。

那天坐地铁的时候，一个男人背着一个黑色背包，站在我旁边。他故意把黑色背包挡在前面，利用背包遮挡视线，然后伸出手，悄悄地想掏我口袋里的东西。

这一次，我刚好发现了他的动作。

我马上问他：「你干什么？为什么把手伸到我的口袋里？」

他一听，赶紧把手缩了回去。

到了下一站，他就匆匆忙忙地下车跑掉了。

这已经是我第三次遇到小偷了。虽然这一次没有真正损失什么东西，但也算是又一次和小偷擦肩而过。

爸爸的生活经验，往往比书本知识更实用

回头看看这三次经历，我觉得最值得记住的，还是第一次出门之前爸爸对我的那句叮嘱。

当时我觉得自己已经是研究生了，应该什么事情都懂，甚至觉得爸爸有点过于小心。

但事实证明，学历高并不代表社会经验丰富，书本上的知识也不一定能教会我们如何应对生活中各种意想不到的事情。

爸爸没有讲什么大道理，只是告诉我一个非常简单的方法：把钱分开放。

就是这么一个简单的生活经验，在我最困难的时候，帮我保住了回家的希望。

人生就是这样，有时候长辈的一句话，可能要过很多年，我们才能真正理解其中的价值。

经历过这三次事情，我也想提醒大家：出门旅行，特别是在人多拥挤的公共汽车、火车站和地铁里，一定要提高警惕。不要把所有现金、证件和重要物品放在同一个地方，也不要让贵重物品暴露在容易被人接触的口袋里。

当然，最重要的还是要感谢爸爸。

有些爱，不是轰轰烈烈的，而是藏在出门前的一句叮嘱里。

爸爸当年让我把钱分开放的那个小小建议，我一直记到今天。

陈钢（Gang Chen）
出版社创办人、畅销书作家（http://GreenExamEducation.com）
建筑师（Architect）、LEED AP BD+C
加州房地产经纪人（BRE# 01232392）

网址：http://GreenExamEducation.com

An Introduction to the U.S. Election System: Voters Are the Real Bosses, and Politicians Are Their Employees!

There is a saying about American democracy that I find particularly interesting:

All politicians are employees of the voters. The voters are the real bosses! 😁

Although this statement is somewhat humorous, it reflects a fundamental principle of American democracy: government power comes from the people. Politicians are elected by the people and entrusted with the responsibility of representing their interests and exercising public authority.

Voters have the power to choose their leaders through elections. They also have the power to vote politicians out of office if they believe those politicians are not doing a good job.

The American election system is not simply about electing a president every four years. It is a comprehensive system involving federal, state, and local elections, with different levels of government operating independently while maintaining a system of checks and balances.

Let's take a brief look at how the American election system works and, more importantly, why voters play such an essential role.

1. How Do American Voters Elect Their Politicians?

The United States operates under a system of representative democracy. Ordinary citizens vote to elect representatives who make laws, manage government operations, and handle public affairs on their behalf.

American elections generally take place at three levels:

1. Presidential Elections: Every Four Years

The U.S. president is the country's chief executive and is elected every four years.

The presidential election generally involves two stages:

• Primary Elections: Political parties hold primary elections or caucuses to allow voters to express their preferences and help determine each party's presidential nominee.

• General Election: Candidates from different political parties compete in the general election, and voters cast their ballots to determine the next president.

However, the American president is not elected simply by whoever receives the most votes nationwide. Instead, the United States uses the Electoral College system.

There are 538 electoral votes in total, and a candidate generally needs at least 270 electoral votes to win the presidency. With the exceptions of Maine and Nebraska, most states award all their electoral votes to the candidate who wins that state's popular vote.

2. Congressional Elections: Voters Decide Who Makes the Laws

The U.S. Congress consists of two chambers: the Senate and the House of Representatives.

• Senators: Each state elects two senators, giving the country a total of 100 senators. Senators serve six-year terms, with approximately one-third of the seats up for election every two years.

• Representatives: The House has 435 voting members, distributed among congressional districts according to population. Representatives serve two-year terms, and all 435 seats are up for election every two years.

This means voters do not just decide who becomes president. They also determine who enters Congress and which political party controls the majority in the House and Senate.

3. State and Local Elections

The United States is a federal system in which individual states have considerable autonomy.

Voters also elect officials at the state and local levels, including:

• Governors

• State legislators

• Mayors

• City council members

• District attorneys and certain local judicial officials, depending on the state and jurisdiction

In addition, some states and local governments allow voters to vote directly on ballot measures, including proposals involving taxes, public education, housing development, and infrastructure.

In other words, voters not only choose the people who manage the government; in some cases, they can also directly influence government policies.

2. Why Are Voters the Real Bosses of Politicians?

I believe this is the most important concept to understand about American democracy.

Although politicians hold public office and exercise considerable authority, that authority is not something they own. It is granted to them through elections and established legal procedures.

We can think of this relationship as a business:

• Voters are the shareholders and bosses.

• Politicians are the employees hired to manage public affairs.

• The government is an organization established to serve the public.

• Elections are the performance reviews through which voters evaluate their employees.

If a president, governor, mayor, or legislator does a good job, voters can continue supporting that person and elect them to another term.

If they do a poor job, voters can replace them in the next election.

For example, members of the House of Representatives must face voters every two years. This means they cannot afford to ignore the concerns and interests of the people in their congressional districts for too long.

Of course, voters cannot simply fire elected officials at any moment as they might dismiss ordinary employees. However, through regular elections, primary elections, and other legally established accountability mechanisms, voters have meaningful ways to hold politicians responsible.

3. "Voters Only Care About What Is Good for Me"

I particularly like this statement:

"Voters only care about what is good for me, which is the essence of democracy."

What does this mean?

It means that people naturally care about how government decisions affect their own lives, families, financial situations, and communities.

This does not necessarily mean that everyone only thinks about personal interests. Rather, it recognizes that in a democracy, the government must listen to the needs and opinions of ordinary citizens.

For example:

• If you care about taxes, you may support candidates who advocate lower taxes.

• If you care about healthcare, you may support candidates who propose healthcare policies that address your concerns.

• If you care about education, you can evaluate candidates based on their education policies.

• If you care about housing prices, you can examine their positions on housing supply, property taxes, and residential development.

• If you care about public safety, you can evaluate their policies on policing, crime prevention, and community security.

Different people have different financial circumstances, living environments, priorities, and values. Naturally, they have different expectations of their government.

One of the fundamental characteristics of democracy is that it allows people with different opinions and interests to express themselves and resolve their differences through elections and public decision-making processes.

4. Why Does America Have Important Elections Every Two Years?

Many people think Americans only vote in presidential elections every four years. That is not the case.

There is another important election called the Midterm Election.

Although the president serves a four-year term, members of the House of Representatives serve only two years. Approximately one-third of the Senate seats are also contested every two years.

As a result, voters return to the polls halfway through a president's term to determine the composition of Congress.

This gives voters an important opportunity.

If voters believe the president and the administration are not meeting their expectations, they can change the balance of power in Congress through the midterm elections.

This may result in different political parties controlling the presidency, the House, or the Senate.

This is part of America's system of Checks and Balances, which is designed to prevent too much political power from being concentrated in one place.

5. How Should Voters Exercise Their Rights?

Since politicians are elected by voters, I believe voters should take their voting responsibilities seriously.

Here are five things worth remembering:

1. Don't just look at a candidate's political party. Understand their actual policies and positions.

2. Don't just listen to campaign promises. Examine their previous performance and accomplishments.

3. Don't blindly support someone simply because they speak well. Pay attention to whether they have fulfilled their previous promises.

4. Don't overlook local elections. Decisions made by local governments often have a direct impact on our everyday lives.

5. Don't casually give up your right to vote. Not voting means giving up an opportunity to express your opinions and influence government decisions.

Of course, democracy does not guarantee that every election will produce results that satisfy everyone.

However, it provides an established and peaceful way for citizens to express their opinions, change political leadership, and influence public policies through voting.

Conclusion: Politicians Are the Employees of Voters!

I believe one of the most important things to understand about the American election system is the relationship between the government and the people.

No matter how powerful the president may be, the president obtains that position through the election process.

No matter how influential senators and representatives may become, they must remain accountable to voters.

Governors and mayors must also remember that their positions come from the people who elected them.

Politicians are not the bosses of voters. They are employees hired by voters to manage public affairs.

Their responsibility is not to make their own lives better, but to serve the public and work for the benefit of the people.

If they do a good job, voters can continue hiring them. If they do a poor job, voters can replace them.

That is why I particularly enjoy summarizing American democracy with this humorous statement:

All politicians are employees of the voters. The voters are the real bosses! 😁

Voters are the bosses. Politicians are public servants.

The meaning of democracy is not only that people have the right to choose who governs their country, but also that they always retain the power to change their leaders through the ballot box.

References (U.S. Government and Official Sources):

• USA.gov – The Electoral College

• USA.gov – Congressional and Midterm Elections

• U.S. Election Assistance Commission

• U.S. Senate – Senate Elections and Terms

Gang Chen, Publisher/Bestselling Author (GreenExamEducation.com)

Architect, LEED AP BD+C, Real Estate Broker (BRE# 01232392)